i came into this world covered in someone else’s blood and screaming and lemme tell you i’m not afraid to leave it the same way
*checks on people i hate to make sure theyre still infinitely less powerful than me*
whenever you’re in a situation where you need motivation just whisper “give ‘em the old razzle dazzle” to yourself and proceed to give ‘em the old razzle dazzle.
*10th wedding anniversary*
are you sure you like like me
date idea: feed me grapes and fan me with giant leaves while I sit on a couch in a toga